PONGO POETRY | I Love It but It's Not Healthy

Pongo Poetry Project's mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. In the spring of 2022, Pongo began mentoring poetry with young people at the Echo Glen Children's Center, a juvenile institution for youth serving criminal sentences. Studies of incarcerated youth indicate that up to 70% suffer from a mental health disorder and that many have experienced childhood trauma. The isolation, economic upheaval, and turmoil of the last two years have only exacerbated this issue. Youth at Echo Glen have endured significant mental and emotional challenges in the last two years, including increased rates of depression, anxiety, sleep issues, and behavioral challenges.

Pongo believes there is power in creative expression, and articulating one's pain to an empathetic audience. Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To learn more about Pongo's work of inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, register for Speaking Volumes 2024 today.

I Love It but It's Not Healthy

by a young person at the Echo Glen Children's Center

I love the gang stuff but I know it's not healthy
Because I could end up dead
Or in a penitentiary

I love the feeling of the cold steel metal
But I know it's not good

I love making money because I never had that
As a kid
I just want to bring my Mom a rack and tell her
Thank you for being here for me
After all I put you through

I love when me and my brother used to be
On the block
Just trying to get some money in our pockets
To feed our family
My Mom and sister working two jobs
Just to afford the rent
Because my Dad was never there
So my mom played Mom and Dad

I'm sorry mom
For all the yelling
And breaking stuff in the house
I never did it on purpose
I never had positive memories in my life
Except seeing my nephew being born
And that's it

I wanted to put all the guns
And drugs
And money away

To be there for him

But once he left
I went back into the streets
It was hard for my mom to put money
On my phone book
Just to talk to me
All my brothers are locked up
So my mom basically lost all of us

But I'd rather be in the system
Than be in a casket
So when I get out I'm going to try my hardest
To change
Just for my nephew

I grew up in the jail system
So that's my childhood

Untitled

by a young person at the Echo Glen Children's Center

Anger is quiet.
Dark. Like a light
That you don't know where it's coming from.
You can only see it in front of you.
There's no silhouettes. It's lonely,
But in a nice way.

Everywhere you step, there's a puddle.
And when you look behind you,
They're not there anymore.

You realize that you just have found peace
In the loneliness. And being hopeless
Has taken on a new meaning
because not everything is as it seems.

Because when you're hopeless people
Think there's something wrong
But sometimes being hopeless is what you need.

Realizing What You Want and Not Need

by a young person at the Echo Glen Children's Center

So, I want to start with
Telling you how I feel about things.
Growing up I never had a father figure
Or that type of male role model that everybody usually has in their life.
And as I got older and I started experiencing relationships
And boys' attention,
I always felt like I needed somebody and if I didn't have somebody
I didn't feel right.
I felt like I needed that attention especially from males
Because it kind of filled something empty inside me
Almost.
I always feel like I need a guy in my life to show me love
And it's crazy too because most of the dudes I've been in relationships with
Or even talked to
are pieces of shit.
And I feel like they're all the same.
And now I'm about to be 17,
And I'm just now learning that I shouldn't need somebody
I should want somebody in my life.
And I'm still kind of learning self-love.
And that's the biggest thing I feel you need in your life,
Self-love.
I'm learning to be okay with myself,
And realizing that I shouldn't need love from anybody else to feel complete inside.
Because I've always got told that you need to learn to love yourself before you can
Try to put love into somebody else
Or even receive love from somebody else.

Featured Image: Illustration by '" Jieyi Zhou.