PONGO POETRY | My Life

Pongo Poetry Project’s mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with children at the Child Study Treatment Center (CSTC), the only state-run psychiatric hospital for youth in Washington State. Many CSTC youth are coping with severe emotional, behavioral, and mental health challenges. Approximately 40% of youth arrive at CSTC having been court ordered to get treatment; however, by the end of their stay, most youth residents become voluntary participants.

Pongo believes there is power in creative expression, and articulating one’s pain to an empathetic audience. Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To learn more about Pongo’s work of inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, register for Speaking Volumes 2024 today.

Content Warning: sexual violence/rape

by a young person at CSTC

At the dawn of the next chapter of my life,  

I will start to focus on my self-love 

Because I cannot love someone important  

To me till I can love myself, 

So, I want to work on me  

And what I need to do— 

Which is being able to commit  

To one person,  

And when there’s an argument  

Trying to work through it  

Instead of ignoring it— 

before I can focus on  

That important someone 

’cause there’s gonna be struggle, 

You can’t avoid it forever 

It just makes the problem bigger  

like a magnifying glass 

looking into one soul 

and seeing the pain  

from the avoidance of the problem.  

When the morning sun  

Dissolves the past fog, 

I will be able to love myself 

And that person together  

Like penguins  

Mating for life  

Sheltering together from the cold;  

I will be able to be in a  

Healthy relationship  

Where communication and commitment  

Are a priority  

Where we can be happy and content  

With our life  

And with each other. 

 Where we can grow and be good  

For each other, 

Like roses blossoming  

In the springtime,  

But that’s not possible  

Until both of us  

Start to work on ourselves  

And love ourselves 

Before we can love each other. 

by a young person at CSTC

I have a lot of rage 

To the point I want to pull out a page 

Of Stephen Hawking’s journal with his intelligent brain

It feels insane 

When he was diagnosed with ALS he was angry with the world 

He was only supposed to live an extra 3-4 years

He felt like there was nothing to work toward and didn’t want to learn

He met this girl named Jane 

And he realized he no longer had to feel pain 

For being in a chair — he had an intelligent stare 

And some good stylish hair 

I went a couple years of my life hating myself 

Because I have autism 

Eye contact was hard and I felt misunderstood

and hid beneath my hood 

But I came to realize it is what it is 

Autism is what you make it 

Because at the end of the day 

Autism is just okay 

And I have things to say

by a young person at CSTC

Love is like a dove, flying through the air,

a pair like one that will never leave. 

Pain is like a million-pound weight 

pushing you to the ground. 

But don’t give up 

there is hope. 

Hope is like a rope 

pulling you to safety

in the middle of a hurricane

that is destroying everything. 

Fear is like a spear

stabbing you with pain

but the rope of hope can pull you up

to safety from the spear.

Love is like a dove

holding an olive branch

for the people I love—

like my mom and my dad and siblings. 

Pain is like a million-pound weight 

Like holding the sky

After a loved one dies

And after you are raped. 

Hope is like a rope pulling you to safety 

after my mom died 

and people helped me by taking me into their care.

Luck is like a duck

Happy and cuddly.

When I moved away from Dave.

The man who raped and hurt people, including me.

Fear is like a spear 

After I was raped 

And then my mom pulled me back to safety

after we moved away from Dave. 

Love is like a dove 

Flying home with me

After I was hurt and raped

Even in the hardest times.