PONGO POETRY | Sorry Mama

Pongo Poetry Project's mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with youth at the Clark Children & Family Justice Center (CCFJC), King County's juvenile detention facility.

Many CCFJC residents are youth of color who have endured traumatic experiences in the form of abuse, neglect, and exposure to violence. These incidents have been caused and exacerbated by community disinvestment, systemic racism, and other forms of institutional oppression. In collaboration with CCFJC staff, Pongo poetry writing offers CCFJC youth a vehicle for self-discovery and creative expression that inspires recovery and healing.

Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To learn more about Pongo's work of inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, register for Landscapes of Healing, its upcoming event.

by a young person at CCFJC

I'm really sorry for breaking up your family
I'm sorry for constantly stressing you and breaking your heart
I'm sorry for letting you down nonstop
I'm sorry for always having you worry
I'm sorry for always manipulating you every day
I'm sorry for always making your life 100 times harder
I'm sorry for what my addiction put you through

I want to change with all my heart, mind, and soul
It feels like I'm really mature
but the little kid in me always finds a way out at the worst times
I want to be the son you deserve
I want to give you the things in life you deserve
I want to have the mother-son connection we used to have
I want to make you proud
I want you to be grateful that you have a
son that still cares and loves you for you

You're a great mother
but your family and the world
have let you down too many times
You know I love you and I care for you a lo
I honestly would do anything for you
I may not complete the task,
but I will put all my effort into it

I want you to know you're still young
you can accomplish a lot
if you put your mind to it
You've taken care of me
while you were struggling
You made sacrifices for me
I'm grateful that you've been
in my life as long as you have
and haven't given up on me

I hope you can forgive me
for the things I've put you through
You deserve a better son.

by a young person at CCFJC

I want to write about my best friend
but it's going to make me cry
I miss her
her company
and going on drives

She would drive
She's a good driver
We'd go out the road
and get really happy
It's like 50/50
She'd pay for half the stuff
and so would I
We'd split it
We'd listen to Rod Wave
Sad and happy

It's like anytime
I remember one time
we were driving out there
and she said,
"I couldn't imagine
I couldn't imagine living in a place
that didn't look like this."

The drive out there
She likes to drive fast
She was always there for me
All I can think about splitting right now,
is gas
It's just so expensive

by a young person at CCFJC

I would make better choices
I would listen to my dad
My dad would say, do better,
not make bad decisions.
Like getting drunk,
getting into fights,
not attending school.

If I had to do it over again
I would listen to what Dad was saying
My dreams are
to get a car
get married
have a big house
have some kids
maybe four.

I want to go to school to become a mechanic
My behavior in mechanic school
will be that I will pay attention
to instructors and listen and learn.
My house will be white
and have ten bedrooms
8 bathrooms
and a swimming pool.
My house will be in Miami.
I will have a blue Lamborghini
and a black Range Rover.
My behavior will be responsible
respectful and happy.

Moving forward in my life
I make a promise to myself
to make positive choices
that will lead to a happy life.