PONGO POETRY | My Little Brother

by a young person at CCFJC 

It's cold and dark
when you first go in
people's looking at you
as an inmate
like you're a dangerous person
I get cold and shivers
down my spine

I can feel anxiety
coming by
when they first
take me in my room
I feel cold and depressed
I can only see these white walls
every time I turn

I can only think to myself
what have I done to be in here?

I miss being with my family and my friends
I miss having a hug from my mom, the warmth like a fire
I miss being outside every day, playing Uno with my friends
I miss steak, with greens
I miss being around the house playing ball with my dog
I miss having to sit on the porch and seeing the days go by

When I'm in juvie
I can't see myself outside anymore
Judges keep telling me I'm a menace to society
or not a good person
But I know that I am
I'm a good person
I'm a loving person
I just miss my family and being out

Now every time I go out of my room I just feel a deep cold
It feels like winter with frostbite on your hands
I just sit around the table watching people go by
It feels like years have passed since I sat down

I sit around and think about how I miss my family
Playing games
Having fun
Hearing my mom laugh
and my family and my siblings

I love my life
I know I'm a good person

by a young person at CCFJC

My main goal is to live to see my 18th birthday
The direction I'm living my life in now
Is only gonna end up getting me killed
Or in jail

Right now I'm already in jail
I'm going through a pretty hard time emotionally
Without my freedom

But I also feel like it's good that I'm in here
I feel like I'm taking the time to think str8
I have a clear mind while being in here
But on the outs
I'm focused on the wrong things
and the time that I've been in here
I've grown a lot
mentally

My probation officer once asked me
How I'm gonna live on the outs
When I have a lot of gang rivals
I told her
I really don't know

by a young person at CCFJC

I miss my family
but they may not miss me.
I miss my little brother
and seeing him grow up.
I wish I could teach him how to fish
and how to prepare a really good dish.
He used to love my steak
but now I just make mistakes.
I miss his wild hair
and the way he used to stare.
I hope he knows I love him
and I'll come around to see him again.

Pongo Poetry Project's mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with youth at the Clark Children & Family Justice Center (CCFJC), King County's juvenile detention facility.

Many CCFJC residents are youth of color who have endured traumatic experiences in the form of abuse, neglect, and exposure to violence. These incidents have been caused and exacerbated by community disinvestment, systemic racism, and other forms of institutional oppression. In collaboration with CCFJC staff, Pongo poetry writing offers CCFJC youth a vehicle for self-discovery and creative expression that inspires recovery and healing.

Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To partner with Pongo in inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, join the Pongo Poetry Circle.