PONGO POETRY | Every Time I Wake Up

by a young person at CCFJC

Thinking about getting out of here

Every time I wake up
I feel like I f***** up

I feel like I let my family down
I feel like I let myself down
It feels worse without my family around

Every time I wake up
I feel like I f***** up

I tell myself I can do this
But no matter what I’m gonna keep myself focused

I just do what I gotta do
By changing how I move
But still hanging with the crew

Every time I wake up
I feel like I f***** up

by a young person at CCFJC

Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety
Anxiety, Anxiety, Anxiety

Anxiety
Being around big crowds
Being judged at
You don’t really be yourself
You don’t talk as much
You just stand still

Clouded mind
Sometimes I get stuck thinking
Sometimes I can’t think
It’s just clouded
I just can’t think of anything
Being stuck in one spot
Being stuck in here in detention
You can’t go out and experience
The life you want
When the clouds have parted
I see a clear pathway
What my future holds for me
Me living with my family
Attending school
Going to work
I might go work at Chipotle or Costco

by a young person at CCFJC

I’m ready to go home
I’m missing my family
I’ve been here for way too long
Excited and nervous
I’m nervous because
I have court on the 19th
To see if I can go home
On house arrest or not
I don’t know how to feel
Court before, it was nervous
It looks scary because I’m in adult court
Up to King County every time I go
My heart feels scared
My community and my family
And the other family
The fear of the way they judge me
I fear the judgment of hatred
I am human too, like they are
I want other people to know
That I’m kind and respectful
I like to help others
I like to go to the studio with my homies
And help them make beats
I like to help my mother with rent
I used to work and gave my mom
Half my paycheck so that she could pay rent
I also like to help my sister watch my niece
When she has to go to work

Pongo Poetry Project’s mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with youth at the Clark Children & Family Justice Center (CCFJC), King County’s juvenile detention facility.

Many CCFJC residents are youth of color who have endured traumatic experiences in the form of abuse, neglect, and exposure to violence. These incidents have been caused and exacerbated by community disinvestment, systemic racism, and other forms of institutional oppression. In collaboration with CCFJC staff, Pongo poetry writing offers CCFJC youth a vehicle for self-discovery and creative expression that inspires recovery and healing.

Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To learn more about Pongo’s work of inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, register for its upcoming event, What Words Can Hold, on Oct. 8.