OPINION | Make This Memorial Day Different

This Memorial Day, as you watch war movies and pass by war monuments and statues, remember the 13 U.S. military service members and all the civilians who have died in the U.S.-Israeli war on Iran. Remember the pain and suffering their families have endured, and the greater pain and suffering that will follow if the shooting begins again. Above all, Memorial Day is first about death, for there must be dying before there is someone to remember.

Practically every city, town, and village across the nation has at least one memorial to fallen soldiers. Many have more than one. In the U.S. South, the deaths most honored are from the Civil War. This may be true in the North as well. I respect and honor those who fell in battle and the veterans who survived the battlefield and later died from the ravages of war or old age. It's good to have obelisks and statues to remind us that people die in wars while serving the United States. Without these reminders, I wonder whether the public would think of the dead we never knew.

I once thought war was a necessary evil. But many years ago, I realized that war, especially a U.S.-led war, is more of a path chosen than one forced on us. I see now that war is a plague on humanity, a foolish endeavor that creates far more problems than it solves. However, no matter my beliefs about the morality of war, the service members who died lost their lives for something bigger than themselves — whether they became soldiers to find themselves, care for their families, protect their buddies, or because they were drafted or believed in their country and the mission. We must honor that.

Yet we must also remember that those who sacrifice and lose the most have the least to gain from war, while those who benefit the most almost always sacrifice and lose nothing. Spending the whole day eating and shopping without thinking about those who died is a desecration, and honoring them with monuments and words is not enough. Truly honoring fallen soldiers and all who die in war, especially the innocents, requires self-reflection, questions, and action. 

We must reflect on our role in their deaths. Are we allowing the blood of soldiers and civilians to be spilled in war on our behalf because we are unwilling to do the hard work of peacemaking? That work may mean changing our lifestyles, consuming less, and learning more about the world around us. Are we prepared to take responsibility for our own safety? Are we willing to question our government's foreign policies and demand a shift from domination to collaboration? Are we able to admit that warmongers lead us to war, most of whom grow richer, and that we let them send our children to die for their wealth and egos? Are we willing to take action to change ourselves so that our personal behavior and attitudes reflect peacemaking rather than acceptance of war?

I believe the best way to honor those who have died in war, both combatants and civilians caught in the crossfire, is to work to abolish war. We must end the killing and suffering that war causes. We must end the exploitation of our tax dollars, our patriotism, and our children.

If this sounds idealistic, that's because it is. Idealism is one of the traits that set humanity apart from the beasts of nature. Striving for a higher purpose and answering a higher calling bring out the best in us. If we truly want to honor those who died on our behalf, we must step up to ensure their deaths were not in vain, rather than being too scared and too selfish to take on the challenge of becoming better people. 

Make this Memorial Day different. After you eat, catch a sale, honor the dead at a memorial, or leave flowers for a fallen soldier, please take some time to reflect on what you can do to help make the world more peaceful at home and abroad. Then go out and be the peace you want to see in the world.

Michael T. McPhearson is a U.S. Army Gulf War veteran who served as a field artillery officer with the 24th Mechanized Infantry Division during Desert Shield/Desert Storm and later separated as a captain after 11 years of service. A Seattle resident, he is the executive director of Veterans For Peace and a former executive director of the South Seattle Emerald. A founding co-chair of the Don't Shoot Coalition in St. Louis following the police killing of Michael Brown Jr., he has led national efforts for peace, justice, and human rights. McPhearson continues to speak and write about war, democracy, race, and social justice.