PONGO POETRY | Story of My Life

Pongo Poetry Project’s mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with children at the Child Study Treatment Center (CSTC), the only state-run psychiatric hospital for youth in Washington State. Many CSTC youth are coping with severe emotional, behavioral, and mental health challenges. Approximately 40% of youth arrive at CSTC having been court ordered to get treatment; however, by the end of their stay, most youth residents become voluntary participants. 

Pongo believes there is power in creative expression, and articulating one’s pain to an empathetic audience. Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To learn more about Pongo’s work and how you can partner with it in inspiring healing and relief in youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, register for Poetry In Motion, its upcoming short film showcase.

by a young person at CSTC

Some days I burst out
because I hold all my anger inside.
When I get frustrated,
I write the actions that I would do
on a piece of paper.
I never end up doing it,
because it’s already on the paper,
and I already released it
in an appropriate manner.

My arms shiver, start turning
reddish, purple.
I start shaking.
My last thing I need to work on
here at CSTC before I go home
is to get my behavior in check.
Once I can do that, I can leave.
I’ve been in here
for seven months now,
and I just want to go home
and get tacos with carne asada, cheese,
black beans, Mexican rice. I want to play video games,
get a job, $20 an hour,
add to my savings account
and get root beer, Monster,
like from one of the family-owned
gas stations, with Mexican soda.
Grape, raspberry. 

I’m the only one in my family that has been
to a psych hospital.
Why does my life have to be so horrible? 

I wish I could be like my uncle Max.
He doesn’t flip out at all.
He’s three months older than me.
I’m trying to be normal like him,
because I feel like he’s very mature.
His family can trust him to be out by himself.
He gets good grades, and has the good luck
with the trust of the family.

Why can’t I just be like him?

Dedicated to me when I get out of CSTC and to all the people that just want trust from their families.

by a young person at CSTC

For my best friend who is always there for me,
to brighten my day.
To all the days we shared, good or bad.
Cheers to all the laughs,
to all the tears.
When she walks into a room
it’s as if she is there to lighten our mood. 

I feel terribly guilty
for leaving her behind like that.
I wish I was here with her right now.
She is about to be 13.
I hope that I get to see her on her big day. 

Ever since we were little
she has always been the light to my shadow.
She always knows what to say
to make me feel better.
She is kind and loving.
And our love is worth it.
And I promise to love her,
till the day I die.

But if there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that
love can be as easy as counting to 3.
It can be as hard as trusting someone new,
but it’s worth the amount of love you are given.

by a young person at CSTC

The flow of love
is not a push or shove
no matter who it is
just know, you will probably miss 

Even if you’re in pain
they help you stay sane.
When you let love flow
you tend to let things go. 

Love is a rhythm
it builds like a prism
ranging from colors
even when you’re with others. 

Dedicated to my mom