PONGO POETRY | Feelings in a Cage

by a young person at CCFJC

I want you to know what it's like
when a person is locked up, caged up like an animal
I want you to know how I feel when I can't see my mom,
scared I won't be able to spend time with her
cause I know life is short

I want you to understand my pain
when I call my mom and she's struggling
and my little brothers are doing bad, locked up, being charged

He's my baby brother, my best friend
It hurt me and scares me to see him in a cage
when I can't be there to help him
and see what's goin on with him

I want you to know how I express myself
my words are like bullets 

I want you to know what I'm capable of
my strength comes from my mom
a strong black independent woman

I want you to know my heart
my love is unstoppable
it gots no limits

I will love you forever – if you got me, I got you

by a young person at CCFJC

One way or another, it always comes back to you
Gang life
You seek for help, but it's never enough
Trying to get into programs
trying to get my mental health right
but it's hard

It's hard to leave friends and family
It's hard to stop
It's hard to live with the consequences
It's hard to live with the damage that I've caused

The way people look at me
The way people think I am
The way people treat me different
Like just because I'm in that lifestyle I can't do no good

The real good is to leave that life behind
It's hard
But it's never too late

by a young person at CCFJC

I feel a mix of emotions,
like tired, not hungry, sad and mad.
Sad but like you can't even cry.
Mad but I keep my calm, keep it in,
try to stay positive.
To stay positive I call my mom,
think of this as only temporary,
stay socialized.
I write my thoughts down on paper.

I stress about court,
the deal they're trying to give me,
missing birthdays, losing people.
I missed my little sister's birthday and she passed.
She was sick,
had a heart murmur.
I missed my mom's birthday,
my big brother's too.
I lost a friend–he got shot
and was trying to make it to the hospital
and crashed on the bridge.
The deal is 3-4 years, basically until I'm 18.
It's kinda scary, like, nothing is gonna be the same.
People aren't gonna live at the same place.
My siblings will be in high school or college.

Trying to stay positive in a difficult place,
it's hard.
But it's not gonna kill you,
and it should make you stronger.

I feel drained like when you've cried for a long time
but I haven't cried yet.

My mom would tell me,
we don't sink, we swim.

Pongo Poetry Project's mission is to engage youth in writing poetry to inspire healing and growth. For over 20 years, Pongo has mentored poetry with youth at the Clark Children & Family Justice Center (CCFJC), King County's juvenile detention facility.

Many CCFJC residents are youth of color who have endured traumatic experiences in the form of abuse, neglect, and exposure to violence. These incidents have been caused and exacerbated by community disinvestment, systemic racism, and other forms of institutional oppression. In collaboration with CCFJC staff, Pongo poetry writing offers CCFJC youth a vehicle for self-discovery and creative expression that inspires recovery and healing.

Through this special monthly column in partnership with the South Seattle Emerald, Pongo invites readers to bear witness to the pain, resilience, and creative capacity of youth whose voices and perspectives are too often relegated to the periphery. To partner with Pongo in inspiring healing and relief among youth coping with mental and emotional turmoil, learn more about serving as a volunteer youth poetry mentor and apply here.